An Affair
by toffeekitten
Summary: The story is about the love between Lancelot and Guinevere. An alternative fanfic but hopefully people will give it a read anyway. It is set just before and throughout series four so there will be spoilers. All reviews are greatly appreciated!
1. Origins

**This is not a story for Arwen fans, I warn you now. However, hopefully it will be a story that interests and excites you. There will be spoilers for series four throughout the story including in this author's note so read no further if you haven't seen it yet.**

** I love Lancelot and I hated the way the affair was portrayed in the BBC show especially as if you are going to make it happen because of magic then at least people should find out. As no one ever did then they should have had a regular affair because it was awful seeing Gwen feel guilty for something that wasn't her fault etc. I could rant forever. I know ultimately what they do is wrong but it could have been dealt with better. **

**All the characters belong to the BBC, only the story is mine and is not made for profit. **

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><p>Lancelot looked down on his new uniform and smiled. He was a knight, again. Although this time it was hopefully going to be significantly more permanent. He was happy. Well as happy as he could be. His life was good. He had lovely quarters, a great job, amazing friends. What more could he want? His mind instantly filled in the blank. Her. He wanted her. But she was not his to have.<p>

She paid him the same politeness, the same courtesy as she did everyone else. She treated him no differently from the others, no special smiles, no longing looks across the table, nothing. It was like nothing had ever happened between them. It was his fault. Hadn't he wanted this? He left her. He had his chance and he ruined it. He left her to be with Arthur and his wish had come true. They were together, they were happy.

Why did he leave her? If he was honest to himself it was because he was scared. He loved her so much and that scared him. He ran away like a little boy, pretending to be noble but really, he couldn't deal with the overwhelming emotion that took over his heart. Arthur was a better man than him. He took that step, he defied laws and rules, just to be with her. He deserved to be with her, not me.

Lancelot mentally shook himself. Stop it, he thought angrily. Get over it. It's done now. Time to get to work. He was on patrol duty today which involved wandering through Camelot on a horse and generally maintaining law and order. It was not the hardest job in the world and it was rather enjoyable. People were very friendly, often stopping him in the street to talk. Sometimes he would have to step in and intervene with market trader disputes but never anything serious.

This particular day was different. As he rode along, he witnessed a man beating a boy with a stick while a woman was screaming at him to stop. Lancelot galloped to the scene, and jumped of his horse.

"Stop that now," Lancelot yelled.

The man looked startled, "But sire, he stole from my shop. He picked up an apple and tried to run off."

"I think he has been punished enough. Let him go," Lancelot asked firmly.

"No sire, he needs to learn his lesson," the man replied angrily.

Lancelot drew his sword. "I said, let him go."

The man raised his hands in the air and backed off.

"Come here boy. Did you steal this man's apple?"

"Yes sire, I'm sorry. I was hungry…" the boy muttered quietly, his face looking down to the floor.

"You know that's wrong, don't you?"

"Yes sire," the boy replied meekly.

"Good. Now what do you want?" Lancelot's voice softened.

"What?" the boy asked shocked.

"What would you like to eat?" Lancelot smiled down at the boy.

"Er…can I have some apples and some bread please?" the boy beamed back at Lancelot.

"No problem, and miss, can I get you anything?" Lancelot spoke to the woman who had been watching him with cautious eyes since he arrived.

"Could we have some vegetables please?" She replied quietly.

Lancelot brought them the food they had asked for and gave the shopkeeper some extra as well.

"Thank you sire," and both the woman and little boy bowed their heads.

Lancelot replied, "There is no need. Just try and keep him out of trouble."

"Yes sire," they smiled at him as he mounted his horse and went back on patrol.

Nothing else eventful happened on his patrol and he returned to his chambers tired and hungry but happy. First though, he needed a bath. His manservant was busy potting around getting his bath ready while Lancelot got undressed. He removed his armour and took off his cape. He had just pulled his shirt up over his head when there was a knock at the door. Assuming it would be another servant or one of the guys, Lancelot called out, "Come in."

Lancelot's back was turned away from the door but he heard it open and someone gasp. Quickly he spun round to see who was there. Gwen was stood, staring at him, her eyes not looking at his face. No they were located much further down his body he noticed. Gwen immediately looked up and met his eyes, with a blush emerging across her beautiful cheeks.

"Sorry Gwen, I didn't expect it to be you. Let me make myself decent," Lancelot hurriedly shoved on his shirt. Regaining his composure he turned and faced her. He was always struck by her beauty. The way her gorgeous brown eyes revealed her every emotion, the way when she smiled her whole face lit up. "How can I help you?" he asked shyly.

"I wanted to say thank you," Gwen replied with a smile on her face.

"What for?" Lancelot asked confused.

"For helping my friend, Elizabeth and her son, James today. She has been struggling for money since her husband passed away last year," Gwen explained.

"Well it was nothing, anyone else would have done the same thing," Lancelot muttered sheepishly.

"No they wouldn't have. I just wanted to say thank you and give you this," Gwen handed him a flower. "It's just a simple token but I wanted to give you something."

"Thank you Gwen, I will treasure it," Lancelot replied with a wide smile on his face.

"Okay, well I've got to go. Goodbye." Gwen waved and left the room.

Lancelot admired her figure in that dress as she walked away, and immediately hit himself for doing so.

There was a ball that night. There is always ball. Some royalty or noble paying their respects to the great king of Camelot and his son. Lancelot suspected that it would soon be Arthur upon that throne. The old king did not look to have much life left in him. But as one of the knights of Camelot, he was expected to attend. He had not anticipated all the formalities that came with the job but nevertheless it was his duty. At least he could just wear his armour and not have to worry about new outfits every time. He would have been close to packing it all in if that had been the case.

Gwaine had knocked on his door and they had walked to the banquet hall together. Gwaine was in the mood to dance, drink and be merry. Lancelot was not looking forward to the event but Gwaine's excitement was contagious. He arrived with a smile on his face. The ball room was full of people, mostly in fine dress but around the corners of the room, Lancelot recognised his friends, the servant girls and boys. Merlin was looking as bored as ever stood behind Arthur while Gwen stood behind the king. And of course she was easily the best looking girl there, even in her more simple dress. Lancelot was watching her, not expecting her to catch him, after all when was the last time she had looked for him. But tonight, she met his eyes and smiled.

Lancelot was embarrassed, he had not meant for her to catch him staring. So he immediately looked away and did not return her smile. You idiot, he thought to himself. Right focus on the party, Gwaine is over there talking to some ladies, just go over and be social. He went and joined Gwaine and was instantly asked to dance. Gah I hate dancing, Lancelot inwardly groaned but always the gentleman, he offered the lady his hand and went for a dance. She was very pretty, with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, a noble lady from the visiting king's land. She was of moderate intelligence but her voice was very high pitched and it grated on Lancelot. Judging from her conversational topics, Lancelot was meant to be very impressive with how important her family was. He nodded politely while she chattered on and on.

Lancelot was growing bored and weary of this tiresome woman. She had not asked Lancelot about himself once and yet proceeded to tell him every detail about her own life. Lancelot glanced around the room, desperate to make eye contact with someone who could rescue him. The knights usually had each other's backs but Lancelot could only see Gwaine, who was clearly distracted by a curvy blonde attached to his arm. Merlin, where is Merlin, he wondered. Merlin was stood by Arthur's side as usual and noticed Lancelot distressed expression. He laughed and nudged Gwen, who turned and giggled at Lancelot as well. However, she came to his rescue.

"Sire, sire," Gwen impatiently tapped Lancelot's shoulder.

"Gwen, whatever is the matter?" Lancelot was attempting to sound concerned but his acting had never been that great.

"Your needed urgently, there has been a disturbance in the lower town," Gwen explained.

"Yes, of course. Please forgive me, my lady." Lancelot bowed his head towards the woman, whose name he had already forgotten.

"Of course," she curtsied and went to find her next target. Judging from the direction she was heading in, Sir Leon was next.

Gwen grabbed Lancelot's arm and pulled him out of the ballroom. They ran down the corridor and collapsed into a fit of giggles.

Lancelot put his back against the wall and slid down it, landing on the floor with a bang. "Thank you so much Gwen, I can't tell you what a nightmare she was."

Gwen sat down next to him and smiled, "Its quite alright, it's not every day I get to save a knight. I thought it was meant to be the other way around."

"I've saved you in the past, remember when I…" Lancelot stopped. He knew he couldn't say anymore without the conversation turning awkward. What could he say? Remember when I kissed you, remember when I was willing to give up my life for you, remember when I left you without saying goodbye?

Gwen was clearly having similar thoughts.

"Yes, I remember," she smiled and patted his hand. "I should return to the ball, the King might need me."

"Yes of course." Lancelot stood up and offered his hand to Gwen.

Gwen took it and Lancelot helped her up.

"Thank you for rescuing me tonight," and with a smile, Lancelot bowed his head and kissed Gwen's hand. "Goodnight my lady."

Gwen blushed, "I am not a lady."

"You are to me." And with that final comment, Lancelot walked away and refused to look behind him to see if she watched him leave.

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><p><strong>Well that was part one. Please review as I would love to know if people are actually wanting to read about this couple. <strong>


	2. The Darkest Hour Part 1

**Short chapter for the moment, setting the scene and the time frame in this episode. It is written assuming you have seen Merlin, Series 4, Episode 1. Spoilers warning again. **

**The next chapters will run alongside the episodes in series 4. Hopefully you will like my alternative ending to The Darkest Hour.**

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><p>A year had passed and all had been quiet. Until now.<p>

Leon and Elyan had reported seeing Morgana on her way to the Isle of the Blessed where she murdered Bertrand and Montague. Although not close friends of Lancelot, he still felt grief at the news of their deaths. Lancelot knew that it would not be quiet for much longer.

Lancelot had been so happy, Camelot had been very peaceful, fully embracing Arthur as their leader while Uther remained behind closed doors in the castle. His friendship with Merlin had grown stronger and the company of knights were like his brothers. He was pleased to see how well Percival had settled in as well. They had shared many experiences together and it was Percival who encouraged Lancelot to keep true to his dream of becoming a knight.

But now Morgana was back. Lancelot could not understand how she could have become like this. Sitting in the banquet hall, his mind wandered while Arthur made his speech about the importance of remembering the dead or something along those lines. It had Merlin's influence all over it. Lancelot smiled and looked over to his friend to see if he was appreciating the response his speech would surely have. Merlin was still, and looked as pale as a ghost. Lancelot could see he was staring at something but could not see what was so fascinating. And then Merlin collapsed.

Lancelot rushed over to him while the others including Arthur looked on. It annoyed Lancelot how little Arthur seemed to think of Merlin at times. Lancelot scooped Merlin up in his arms and walked with Gaius back to the physician's chambers. Lancelot placed Merlin gently on his bed.

"What happened?" Lancelot asked worried.

"I don't know," Gaius responded, "I've never felt anyone so cold before."

"Will he be alright?"

"I'll need hawthorn to improve the blood flow and blankets, lots of blankets."

Lancelot immediately set to work and gathered as many blankets as he could find while Gaius prepared the hawthorn. Lancelot sat by Merlin's bed and waited for him to gain consciousness.

It was not too long before Merlin came round.

"What happened?" Merlin mumbled.

"Your fell and hit your head during the feast," Lancelot explained.

"Ahh that will be the drink, you know what a lightweight I am," Merlin attempted to laugh at his own joke.

"Merlin…" Lancelot warned.

"I'm fine, okay. I promise," Merlin smiled at his friend.

Lancelot returned his smiled and went to wake Gaius. He struggled with Merlin keeping secrets from him but he knew there were good reasons for it and as long as Merlin had Gaius, he knew he would always be guided along the right path. Lancelot woke Gaius with a gentle nudge and left the two of them alone.

The following morning, Lancelot was woken by his manservant James. He had gotten to know the boy well after he rescued him from a severe beating a year previously and had offered him a job. It kept him out of trouble and Lancelot enjoyed his company. James rushed in and practically dragged Lancelot out of bed, informing him that the Prince demanded his presence and they were to set off to explore a nearby village as soon as possible.

Leon filled him in on their mission as they rode through the forest and into the village. Nothing could have prepared him for the silence and stillness that greeted them. As they walked through the village, it appeared deserted, almost like a ghost town. Something terrible had happened here. The knights were on edge, every sound startled them. Then they found the bodies. A man and a woman. They looked frozen, with blank eyes.

The knights decided to explore further but found nothing that provided any clues as to who was the culprit for these horrendous crimes. As Lancelot when round a corner of a house, he saw Merlin looking out into the distance. His face was a picture of terror, his hands raised as if he was trying to defend himself. Lancelot ran to his side and jumped in front of him waving his torch around. Whatever it was fled, screaming as it went.

"What happened?"

Merlin was clearly shaken, "My magic…I couldn't use it."

Lancelot looked round as he heard his fellow knights approach.

"There is something out there," he warned.

"You saw it?" Arthur demanded.

"When it saw the light, it fled," Lancelot explained.

"Get the horses!"

"It's not something you can chase or something you can kill," Merlin responded.

"We need to get out here," and with that Arthur and his knights retreated.

Upon returning to Camelot, Arthur was immediately ushered into the castle. The Dorocha, which Gaius had informed them was the spirits name, had attacked while they had been gone and there had been many casualties. Lancelot went to check up on James and his mother. He was relieved to find them both alive and well. Anticipating Arthur's next move, Lancelot moved James and Elizabeth into his quarters, well aware that he would not be needing them for a while and that the castle would be the safest place for them.

James, clearly grateful, ran around at about 100 miles an hour, making sure Lancelot would have everything possible for his long journey ahead. A guard at the door soon informed them that Lancelot had guessed correctly and plans were being put in place to travel to the Isle of the Blessed.

As Lancelot gathered his belongings, James ran over and hugged him. Lancelot smiled down at the boy and patted his head.

"Don't worry, I will be back soon," Lancelot reassured him.

"I know sire," James responded quietly.

As Lancelot wandered through the castle, he went and said his goodbyes to his friends amongst the kitchen staff and promised Gaius he would keep an eye on Merlin. He wanted to say goodbye to Gwen but assumed she would be busy. Of course she is busy, saying goodbye to Arthur, kissing Arthur goodbye, his mind retorted.

Lancelot went to see to his horse to distract himself from thoughts of Gwen and whoever she might be saying bye too. Lancelot was just adjusting the straps of his saddle when out of the corner of his eye he saw her. His heart skipped a beat as she walked towards him, dressed in her beautiful blue dressed. He loved her in blue. Well he loved her in any colour. Maybe she was coming to say goodbye? A smile grew across his face and he walked towards her.

"Gwen,"

Her face was clearly concerned. Maybe she was going to ask him to keep safe?

"Will you grant me a favour?" she asked.

This was it. She was going to ask him be careful and come home safe. His heart pounded in his chest.

"Anything."

Her eyes glanced over to her left, "Look after him."

Lancelot followed her gaze, well aware of who she would be looking at.

"Bring him home."

His heart sank. His smile left his face. He bowed his head and answered her truthfully,

"I will protect him with my life. You have my promise."

She gave him a small smile, "Thank you," and with that she walked away.

Lancelot watched her leave.

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><p><strong>I know there is still a little bit that I haven't covered in this chapter from episode 1 but I really wanted this chapter to end with that scene. <strong>

**Please review as it makes all the hard work feel worthwhile. **


	3. The Darkest Hour Part 2

**This story is set at the end of The Darkest Hour Part 1 and during The Darkest Hour Part 2. Longest chapter I think I've ever written but there was a lot of Lancelot scenes in this episode. Really hope you like my alternative ending to The Darkest Hour Part 2!**

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><p>Lancelot trailed behind the rest of the knights, still recovering from the heart breaking blow he received from Gwen. He kept seeing the back of Arthur's head in front of him and desperately wanted to feel some sort of urge to hurt him or hate him. But he didn't. He respected Arthur as a ruler, as Gwen's protector and as his friend. Arthur had done him no wrong and in many ways it made losing Gwen to him all the more painful.<p>

They came to an entrance near an old castle and decided to settle there. Merlin volunteered to collect wood and Lancelot went with him. He wanted to talk Merlin out of coming to the Isle as he knew his magic was powerless against the Dorocha.

"You shouldn't be here. You have no powers!" Lancelot called after him.

"Doesn't matter", Merlin replied.

"You're not a warrior, Merlin. I don't want to see you hurt." Lancelot continued, "If you leave in the morning, I'll cover with Arthur."

"It's your duty to protect Camelot, no matter what the cost…"

Lancelot nodded.

"Well…it's my duty to protect Arthur. Surely you can understand that?"

Lancelot sighed, remembering his promise to Gwen, "I can understand that very well."

They returned with the firework as it began to get dark. Merlin set the fire, muttering something under his breath and as if by magic, there was a roaring fire. However, the wood soon began to run low and there needed to be another wood collecting. Arthur volunteered himself and Merlin immediately agreed to go with him. Lancelot watched them both with cautious eyes, remembering his promises to both Gwen and Gaius that he would keep them safe.

Lancelot was getting impatient. He started pacing around what was left of the dwindling fire.

"They should have been back by now."

"Someone needs to go look for them," Elyan agreed.

"We've only got one torch been us," Percival pointed out.

And with that comment, Lancelot seized the sole torch and walked off calling behind him, "Who's coming?"

Lancelot led the men through the castle, swinging the torch this way and that, the terrifying screaming come from all sides. He heard Arthur cry out, "Merlin, no!" and raced towards the voice.

He kicked the door open and swung the torch right into the Dorocha. It fled. Lancelot loaded the torch on to Percival.

"What happened?", he asked.

Arthur just looked at him and ran to the back of the room where Merlin lay. Lancelot followed him and saw Merlin's frozen face.

They carried Merlin's body out of the castle and back towards the fire pit. Lancelot grabbed a blanket and covered Merlin with it. He was freezing to the touch.

Arthur said what they were all thinking, "We've got to get him back to Gaius."

Leon interrupted him, "And abandon the quest?"

"He saved my life, I won't let him die." He has saved you more times than you will ever know, Lancelot thought to himself.

Always the voice of reason, Leon said, "If we don't get to the Isle of the Blessed, hundreds more will perish." Lancelot knew Leon was not being cruel, just practical.

Lancelot got to his feet, "Let me take him."

Arthur shook his head, "Carrying an injured man alone. It will take you two, or three days to reach Camelot."

"Not if I got through the Valley of the Fallen Kings," Lancelot pointed out, aware that this route would be dangerous. "You cannot give up on this quest."

Leon agreed, "Sire, he's right."

Arthur could see no alternative and allowed Lancelot to take Merlin back to Camelot.

Percival carried Merlin and set upon his horse. Lancelot saw the expression on Arthur's face as his bid farewell to Merlin. The Prince did truly care for his manservant, even if he did have a funny way of showing it at times.

Lancelot and Merlin rode through a forest, trying to be as quiet as they could. Lancelot spotted a lake and settled them both by it. Merlin needed a lot of rest if he was to make it back to Camelot alive.

Lancelot could hear his name being called. Alarmed he looked around but all he could see was the lake. He saw a bubble rise out of the lake, with a face inside it? Lancelot thought he must be dreaming.

The bubble then spoke to him. "We bear you no harm. We only wish to help."

"What are you?" Lancelot asked cautiously.

"We are Vilia," the bubble explained, "Spirits of the brooks and streams."

"The tear in the veil has upset the balance of the world. Good spirits as well as bad roam freely."

"Prince Arthur is riding to the Isle of the Blessed. He intends to heal the veil," Lancelot explained.

"He will need help from both of you."

Lancelot took the Vilia's message to heart, fully intending on keeping Arthur safe and his promise to Gwen unbroken. But his first concern was Merlin,

"My friend is sick. I need to get him to Camelot."

"Merlin is stronger than you give him credit for. Do not worry. Even now my sisters begin to heal him."

Lancelot looked at his friend and saw the magic going on inside him. He smiled.

"You are tired. You must rest. You are safe here."

"But the Dorocha…"

"We will stay with you and protect you through the night," the bubble smiled at him.

Looking around at the beautiful sight in front of him, he felt at peace.

He woke up with the sunlight hitting his face. He immediately looked around for his friend.

He could not see him. He started to get up, yelling "Merlin, Merlin!"

"Shh!" Merlin was stood on two rocks with what appeared to be a spear in his hand. He stabbed down into the river but missed his target. He had clearly been up for a while and held his hand two fishes.

"Breakfast?" Merlin asked.

"Merlin, what…?" Lancelot responded, very confused, "What are you…?"

"What?"

"You're meant to be…dying," Lancelot explained badly.

"Sorry. Here." Merlin handed Lancelot his spear/stick.

"What's that for?"

"You look like you're going to fall over," Merlin grinned.

Lancelot swung for him. "Yeah, you're not as quick as Arthur."

"Oh yeah?" Lancelot retorted. Arthur was even better than him at pretending to hit a friend? Gah.

Merlin pulled him from his pity party by saying, "Come on, we need to catch up with the others."

"No, you're going back to Camelot."

"You might be," Merlin called behind him.

"Merlin!" Lancelot warned.

"Say hello to Gaius for me!"

"Merlin!"

Merlin spun round and saw Lancelot gathering up his belongings.

"Arthur can't finish this without us."

"Arthur's right about you. You don't ever do as you're told." Lancelot grumbled jokingly.

They rode for many hours, eventually coming to stop outside an abandoned hut.

Merlin was unwilling to stay there but as Lancelot correctly pointed out, there was nowhere else.

Merlin lit a fire and the two them settled down for the night.

"You don't have to continue on this journey with me."

Lancelot laughed, "Try and stop me."

"Why?" Merlin asked, "Because you're a knight, you feel honour-bound?"

Lancelot shook his head, "You wouldn't understand. It doesn't make any sense to me either."

"Gwen?" Merlin hit the spot as usual. He is much wiser than people realised Lancelot thought to himself.

"I made her a vow I would keep Arthur safe."

"You don't have to worry, I'll keep him safe."

"I made a vow, Merlin," Lancelot replied.

"You still think about her?" He asked.

Every day, but Lancelot responded with the less truthful answer of, "No."

"Arthur's a better man than me."

Merlin was aware of his friend's lie but he did not push it, "I'm sorry."

"Why? He loves her…and she's happy," Lancelot could not bare to admit out loud that Gwen loved Arthur.

Lancelot was quiet after that conversation and soon excused himself and went to sleep.

He was woken by screaming and Merlin yelling his name. Together they fled the house, Lancelot could hear Merlin shouting something but he could not understand a word.

Suddenly a dragon appeared out of nowhere. Lancelot was frightened, well aware that he could not defeat a dragon on his own. Nevertheless, he drew his sword and ran at the beast.

Merlin put out his arm and blocked his friend, "It's alright. It's alright."

Merlin thanked the dragon.

"Who is your friend?" asked the dragon.

"I am Lancelot."

"Of course, Sir Lancelot." How does the dragon know me, he wondered. "The bravest and most noble of them all."

Reminded of his thoughts about Gwen, Lancelot replied honestly, "I don't think that's true."

"We shall see," the dragon replied knowingly. "For now there are more pressing things at hand."

"The Dorocha cannot be allowed to remain in this world. The sundered veil must be restored."

"We are on our way to the Isle of the Blessed to help Arthur heal it," Lancelot explained.

"Indeed, but at what price?" the dragon asked.

"I know that the Spirit World demands a sacrifice," Merlin answered.

The dragon disagreed, "It demands nothing, it is the Cailleach, the gatekeeper to the Spirit World that asks such a price."

"And there is no other way?" Merlin asked.

The dragon shook his head, "There is not. However, there is a way of perhaps surviving the process."

"Tell us what is it?" Merlin demanded.

"The Cailleach does not ask for a life, it asks for a blood sacrifice. Many believe it is the cost of a life but actually it is an amount of shed blood. The Cailleach does not choose to pass this information on. If enough blood is spilled, then the Spirit World will close and perhaps the victim can be saved."

"Arthur intends to sacrifice himself to heal the veil," Merlin interrupted, "It is my destiny to protect him, you taught me that."

"Merlin, you must not do this."

"Then I have no choice. I must take his place," Merlin continued to exchange goodbyes with the dragon but Lancelot was no longer paying attention. No, he was coming up with a plan in order to keep his promises and protect the people he cared about.

They rode on through the reminder of the night and into the next day.

"When we get to the Isle of the Blessed, do you really intend to sacrifice yourself?"

"What do you want me to say?" Merlin replied.

"I look at you and I wonder about myself. Could I knowingly give up my life for something?"

"You have to have a reason. Something you care about." Gwen, he thought.

Merlin continued, "Something that's more important than anything."

Gwen's happiness, Merlin's life, Arthur's reign, but Lancelot kept these to himself.

Lancelot watched Merlin ride out in front and admired the courage of his friend.

They soon approached the ruins where it was clear Arthur and the knights were hiding out. Lancelot and Merlin returned to the group to hugs, pats on the back and shook hands.

Together they finally reached their destination, the Isle of the Blessed. Immediately they were attacked by Wyvern and were forced to split up. Arthur, Lancelot, Merlin and Gwaine continued on through the ruins to find the veil.

The walked into a huge area with barely any light. There was a stone table in the middle of the room and the veil was split before them. The Cailleach appeared.

"It is not often we have visitors," she sneered.

"Put an end to this. I demand you heal the veil between the two worlds." Arthur commanded.

"It is not I who created this horror. Why should it be I who stops it?"

Merlin answered, "Because innocent people are dying."

"Indeed," she laughed.

Enraged, Gwaine went for her, only to be knocked back on to the ground unconscious.

"Is this the best you can do?"

"I know what you want," Arthur yelled.

"Do you? And are you willing to let me have it?"

"I'm prepared to pay whatever price is necessary," and Arthur walked towards her.

He did not get close before Merlin cast a spell and Arthur was thrown backwards and knocked unconscious.

Merlin and the Cailleach started to exchange words. She called him Emrys for some reason but he responded to it. But Lancelot's attention was elsewhere. He walked slowly towards the stone table, pulling his knife out of its sheath as he approached.

He pulled off his cape, chest and arm armour and started cutting himself. Blood slowly started to drop onto the table. He gasped as the cuts increased and Merlin finally looked his way.

"Lancelot! What are you doing?"

"Keeping my promises and perhaps my life," Lancelot smiled through the pain.

Aware that his friend did not have the strength to keep cutting himself, Merlin made the hardest decision of his life. He cast a spell and suddenly there were hundreds of cuts across Lancelot's body, blood oozing from every part of him.

Lancelot collapsed upon the table, unable to stand. Merlin kept his eyes on the veil and slowly it began to close. Eventually it sealed up but Lancelot had been bleeding for quite some time. Merlin preformed any and all healing spells he could. He woke Arthur and Gwaine and between them and their fellow knights managed to get Lancelot back to Camelot alive.

Gaius gave them the news, "It's not looking good, your highness. I fear he had lost too much blood. You may want to come and say your goodbyes."

One by one the knights visited Lancelot, followed by Arthur, then Merlin and finally Gwen.

"Gwen," Lancelot mumbled, clearly surprised.

"Hello Lancelot. I've come to say thank you, for saving Arthur. You were true to your word," tears started to form in her eyes.

"Gwen," Lancelot gasped, "I would do anything for you, my lady." Lancelot's eyes started to close, and his head dropped back on to the pillow.

She grabbed his hand and rested her cheek upon it. "Live for me. Remember when you said that to me Lancelot. Please, live for me."

Lancelot's eyes closed.

Tears started running down Gwen's face, "Lancelot, no!" She gently kissed his forehead and ran to get Gaius. Leaving Gaius with Lancelot, she fled to her room only to bump into Arthur.

"Gwen, what's wrong?" Arthur asked concerned.

"He didn't sacrifice himself for Camelot. I asked him to look after you and he promised me with his life. He was true to his word."

She pushed past Arthur and ran to her home, overwhelmed by guilt and grief.

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><p><strong>Well, like I wrote earlier, I really hope my alternative ending to this episode was appropriate and enjoyed. <strong>

**Please please review and let me know if you like my alternative ending? Any support for this story is greatly appreciated as I know that these two are not the most popular couple ever...**

**Rizzal: Thank you for being my first reviewer. I hope you continue to find the character's actions and words applicable to their character ****in the series.**

**guen. evere92: Thank for taking the time to review even though you are an Arwen fan. I will eventually update my other story, The First Female Knight but I currently have writer's block with that story line. Hopefully this story will help with the writer's block.**

**Tereshe: Gracias por revisar. Lo siento por mi mal español y espero que siga disfrutando de esta historia. :)**


	4. A New Day

**This is set just after The Wicked Day but before Aithusa. **

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><p>He woke up.<p>

As he opened his eyes, the faint light in the room caused such an intense pain, that he had to shut them again. He decided to try another sense instead. As he listened to his surroundings, he could hear slow, rhythmic…snoring?

Yes, there was someone in the room with him. As he stretched out his hands and feet, he could feel a presence on his bed. His knight training finally kicking in, Lancelot could no longer keep his eyes shut and looked around to see who the stranger was.

He saw a tuff of blonde hair and smiled, James. He had fallen asleep and his head was close to Lancelot's left hand. Lancelot tried his hardest not to wake him but he was desperate to get up and stretch. How long I have been asleep for? Judging from the aches across his body, a while.

As Lancelot tried to shuffle as quietly as possible out of bed, his movement woke James. The boy raised his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Lancelot? LANCELOT! YOU'RE AWAKE! YOU'RE AWAKE!" James started shouting at the top of his voice and jumping.

"Yes, I am! Although with a shout like that I'm surprised you never woke me earlier," He ruffled the top of James's hair. "How long have I been out?"

"About ten days. We thought you were going to die," said James sombrely.

"Oh." Lancelot was taken back. Why have I been out for so long? What happened to me?

"You had a fever, your cuts weren't healing. You kept moaning and crying in your sleep…" James's voice got very quiet.

Lancelot smiled at him, "Well I'm fine now, aren't I? I told you I would be fine."

"Yes," James beamed at him, "I'll go get Gaius. I promised him I would find him if you woke up. Will you be okay?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I promise."

"Okay, I'll be as quick as I can," James got up and ran to get Gaius while attempting to look over his shoulder at Lancelot and nearly ran into a desk.

Ten days? Well that's not too long. Not much could have happened in ten days. He heard the door creak open and he turned to face the visitor.

"Gwen?" he asked surprised.

"Hello Lancelot," she smiled at him.

Lancelot was blown away by her smile. She had not smiled at him so brightly since…well he couldn't remember when she had last looked at him like that.

When he did not say anything, she nervously said," I've been really worried about you. We weren't sure you would wake up."

"Well I'm up now, I was just being lazy," he tried to make a joke.

She giggled politely.

She came closer and sat down on the chair next to his bed.

"James bumped into me on his way to find Gaius. He told me you were awake. He really cares about you, you know that?" she asked.

"Yes, I care about him. I think he looks to me as a father figure," Lancelot spoke with fondness in his voice.

"A very good choice, I think," Gwen smiled.

"Thank you," he smiled at her.

They went silent again.

"Have I missed anything while I've been asleep?" he asked.

"Well…," Gwen took a deep breath, "The King died, after being attacked by an assassin who was sent to kill Arthur and Arthur is now the king," Gwen filled him in.

"O…so not much then. How is Arthur coping?"

"Err…I'm not sure. He has been really busy looking after his father, then the coronation and now all the Kingly duties he has to perform. There has been even more visitors to the castle than normal with many nobles desperate to pay their respects to the new king…"Gwen trailed off.

"I'm sure things will get better soon," Lancelot shifted his arm to squeeze Gwen's hand.

She squeezed his hand in return and kept her hand in his. Lancelot's heart started to race.

"Lancelot, I…I wanted to say thank you. For what you did on the Isle of the Blessed. Arthur and Camelot would have been destroyed without you."

"It was nothing," Lancelot's face started to go red.

"I wanted to ask…did you…what I mean is…did you do it, you know, for me?"

Lancelot looked Gwen straight into her eyes and for a moment thought he saw a glimmer of hope there. She blinked and it was gone.

"Well…I…did it for…"

Suddenly the door banged open. "Lancelot!"

Gwen pulled her hand from Lancelot's and moved her chair further away from his bed.

"You're awake! That's wonderful news my dear boy. Excuse me Gwen," as Gaius ushered her away from the bed so he could examine Lancelot.

"I'll come back when you're not so busy," and Gwen hurriedly left the room.

"Gwen, wait," but he was too late. The door banged shut behind her. Lancelot slumped back on the bed.

"Don't worry, she'll be back."

"How do you know?" Lancelot replied grumpily.

"Because she has visited you at least once a day, every day since you were brought in. She has even taken some of the night shifts. And I'll have enough of that attitude thank you very much."

"I'm sorry Gaius, I'm just frustrated," Lancelot apologised.

"Yes, very common symptom of some who has been bedridden for a while. You are looking well. Your wounds have completely healed now. The reason you've been out for so long was firstly due to your blood loss but some of your wounds were infected upon your return. Fortunately you're strong and you managed to fight it but for a while there it was touch and go."

"I didn't realise it had been that serious."

"Oh yes, Merlin, James and Gwen have barely left your side. I think Merlin may have had a hand in your recovery as well," Gaius added knowingly.

Lancelot attempted to get out of bed but he couldn't lift himself up.

"Steady now Lancelot, your muscles have been severely weakened. It will take some time before you are up and about again. You'll need some help working your arms and legs before they will have fully recovered," Gaius explained.

Lancelot sighed but looked up at physician and smiled, "Thank you for all your help," Lancelot slowly lifted his arm to shake Gaius's hand. He didn't make it all the way but Gaius got the hint and took Lancelot's hand in his and shook it.

"Anytime," Gaius smiled.

"Hello Lancelot."

"Your highness," said Gaius startled, "Sorry we didn't hear you come in."

"That's alright. As soon as I heard Lancelot had woken up I wanted to come and say thank you," Arthur explained.

"Your majesty," Lancelot bowed his head.

"Lancelot, you don't have to do that. You're the man of the hour. A hero. And you will be rewarded. We will hold a feast in your honour. Perhaps even a statue?"

"Sire, that is too much. I am content in the knowledge Camelot is safe," Lancelot reassured him.

"Nonsense, there must be a ball," Arthur dismissed him.

"Well sire, I am afraid I will not be dancing at the ball."

Gaius interrupted, "Yes that's true sire. Lancelot will still need extensive help with his recovery. He will need supporting while walking until he has regained his strength."

"Of course. Well you shall have whatever you need, your manservant James I'm sure will be willing to help," Arthur answered.

"Might I suggest another as well, perhaps Gwen?" asked Gaius.

"Gwen. Yes, that would be a good idea. Since father passed away, she has needed a new distraction," Arthur agreed.

"Well that's sorted then. I will make preparations for your feast," and with that Arthur walked out of Gaius's chamber.

Lancelot could not decide whether to be insulted that Arthur did not even regard him as competition for Gwen's affections or pleased that his king trusted him so much.

Either way Lancelot was looking forward to spending a lot more time with Gwen.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. I really hope people are enjoying this story. <strong>

**Reviews and feedback would be greatly appreciated :)**


	5. Aithusa

**Hello! I am back. I know its has been a while but forgive me, I have just finished a three year university degree! Woot! I hope people still interested in this story as I have pretty much finished the next chapter as well. Please enjoy :)**

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><p>"Agh", Lancelot collapsed on to the grass. Frustrated he slammed his fist into the ground.<p>

"Sire, are you alright?", James asked concerned, his eyes filled with worry.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just beginning to get a bruised backside," and a bruised ego, he thought to himself.

He had been attempting to regain his strength in his legs and arms for almost a week now, and his progress was slow. Especially for a man as fit as he was meant to be. Although no one had actually admitted that to him, Lancelot could see it the look on Gaius's face every night when James reported their daily activities.

"Well, help me up then," Lancelot snapped at James. The boy looked hurt and Lancelot immediately regretted his words. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Why don't you have today off? You've worked hard."

"Sire, I happy to help you…", but the relief on the young boy's face was too much for Lancelot to bear.

"Go. Now. I will make my own way back to my chambers," ordered Lancelot.

"Thank you sire," and with that James made his way back towards the castle.

Lancelot pulled himself up so he was now in a sitting position. His legs lay flat and useless on the ground, and Lancelot desperately tried to bend his knees and stand up. After three failed attempts, he finally managed to stand, only to feel himself start to fall backwards. Suddenly he felt two small hands behind him struggling to keep him upright. That little boost helped him regain his footing.

"Thank you…Gwen?", as Lancelot looked behind him.

"It's my pleasure," Gwen replied, walking around to face him, smiling brightly.

"I hope you didn't see my attempts to stand up," Lancelot blushed.

"I did. And I'm here to help you," Gwen replied.

"Really?", Lancelot was delighted.

"Yes, Arthur offered my services to Gaius but I've not been able to come till now I'm afraid. I've been helping Arthur with some of his new duties but I don't think he wants my help anymore…I mean I don't think he needs my help," Gwen looked flustered and upset.

"Well, I need your help so I'm glad Arthur can spare you," Lancelot smiled gently at her.

Gwen returned his smile and put her arm around his waist, "Come on, let me help you back to your chambers."

Lancelot's body tingled at her touch, and his heart started to race. You're pathetic, he thought to himself. He put his arm across her shoulders and they slowly walked to his chambers. He kept making her laugh while they walked, wanting to cheer her up from her argument with Arthur.

It took them a while but they eventually made their way to his chambers. Merlin was waiting for them when they arrived. As they turned the corner, they bodies touching, looking into each other's eyes and smiling, they did not even notice him until,

"Uh hum." Shaken Gwen jumped away from Lancelot, almost making him collapse on to the floor.

"Steady," Merlin caught Lancelot before he fell, and helped walk him into his chambers.

"Lancelot, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean, I didn't think…" Gwen stuttered.

"Gwen, its fine," Lancelot smiled at her as Merlin helped him sit in his chair.

"What was the matter Gwen?" Merlin asked her.

"I don't know… I will leave you be," and with that a red faced Gwen practically ran out of the room.

Lancelot watched her go, looking after her longingly. Merlin caught him staring.

"Are you sure it's wise having Gwen help you?", Merlin asked, pulling up a chair beside him.

Lancelot was silent for a while, and then sighed, "No, probably not. But it is only me who will get hurt and I can live with that."

Merlin looked sceptical, "I can't offer you any counsel on the matter at the moment because I have just done something much more stupid." And with that comment, Merlin launched into his tale about how he helped Borden break into Camelot's vault and steal part of a key in order to get the last remaining dragon egg and now Arthur is about to set off to destroy the egg that Merlin was trying to save. Merlin looked down at the ground and held his head in his hands.

Lancelot digested Merlin's news, "Yes, you didn't something much stupider than I did."

Merlin just sighed, "I thought I should let you know what was going on before we left."

"I am grateful, I just wish I could be there with you," Lancelot replied angrily. He looked down at his useless legs and wondered how much someone could hate a part of their body. He thought he was pretty close to breaking point.

"I know," Merlin patted his shoulder. "You'll be there for the next one."

"Keep safe Merlin. I will never forgive myself if something was to happen to you while I was in this state."

"Of course I will", and with one of his goofy grins, Merlin walked out of his chambers.

Lancelot awoke to a gentle knocking at his door. "Come in," he mumbled.

"Lancelot?", a quiet voice asked.

"Gwen?", Lancelot replied confused. His back was killing him from falling asleep in his chair.

"Hi." Gwen smiled as she poked her head round the door, "I came to apologise about this afternoon and I brought you some dinner," Gwen walked into the room, nudging the door closed with her hip.

"Thank you Gwen, you didn't need to do this," Lancelot attempted to sit up properly on the chair.

"I knew you had given James the day off and I didn't want you to go hungry," Gwen smiled, putting the tray on the table next to him and sitting herself down in the chair Merlin had sat in earlier.

It was chicken with vegetables, and a pint of his favourite ale. "Thank you Gwen, this is great."

She smiled, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "I wanted to say sorry again for my actions earlier."

"It's all forgiven," replied Lancelot, happily eating his dinner, "But whatever happened?"

Gwen hesitated, "I'm not sure. I just wasn't expecting anyone to see us together. It surprised me."

"There is nothing wrong with us being together," Lancelot replied cautiously.

"I know. I just felt…," Gwen struggled for the words, "guilty."

"Guilty? Whatever for?", Lancelot finished off his dinner and was watching her intently.

"I…don't know. I just did," Gwen's face had gone bright red.

Although Lancelot wanted to keep pushing until she gave him a proper answer, he was a gentleman and he let her be.

"Did Arthur say when he was expected back?", Lancelot asked changing the subject.

"Actually no. He rushed off. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye," Gwen's eyes started to water.

"He didn't come and find you before he went?", Lancelot blurted out. "Sorry, my lady, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's okay, I'm sure he was just busy, especially being king as well," Gwen wiped her eyes with her handkerchief.

Lancelot didn't want to say it, he knew he shouldn't say it, but he couldn't help himself. He raised his hand to her face, and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, "I would never leave you without saying goodbye. Never again."

She raised her hand to his on her face, held it there for a moment and whispered, "I know."

She gently removed his hand from her face, picked up the tray and quietly left the room. Lancelot watched her leave, this time without longing, his heart filled with hope instead.

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><p><strong>Not a particularly long chapter but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless. Please read and review, it what motivates us in the early mornings as we write fanfic :)<strong>


	6. His Father's Son

**Well I thought I would post this as I had written it but it does not seem to be a popular story. Anyway I hope you enjoy nevertheless :)**

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><p>A month had passed and Lancelot had finally regained his strength and mobility. This was primarily due to the unrelenting efforts of Gwen and James, both who refused to give up on him. He was back in his uniform and preforming his normal duties. He and Gwen still saw each other every day, as they had discovered it had become a hard habit to break. They were constantly making excuses to be together. His most recent reason involved an elaborate story about a horse, a fruit cart and himself. Gwen clearly understood what they were doing and she had made no attempt to prevent it which only gave Lancelot more hope than perhaps something could happen between them. But she had said nothing else about any problems between Arthur and herself, and she had not given any further indication that her feelings for Lancelot had grown.<p>

Lancelot's first battle since being declared fit and healthy once more, was the trap prepared for the raiders from Caerleon's kingdom. They had been becoming bolder with every attack and even dared to venture into the middle of Camelot. Arthur and his fellow knights had been devising this strategy for some time before initiating it.

It all when perfectly to plan and Lancelot felt at home once more amongst his fellow knights, his friends and in many ways his brothers. Then it started to go wrong and Agravaine realised that one of the prisoners that was captured was King Caerleon. Arthur had to act, Lancelot understood that, but he did not agree with the action Arthur undertook. He and Merlin tried to sway Arthur's opinion, pleading for a lesser sentence than one that would ultimately led to Caerleon's death.

But Arthur would not listen to them. He had not been the same since becoming King, preferring to listen to the counsel of Lord Agravaine, than his friends. Merlin had a bad feeling about Agravaine which meant that Lancelot was cautious of him as well. Lancelot stood alongside his fellow knights, and watched powerlessly as Arthur killed a man in cold blood.

He arrived back into the castle with his spirits low. He saw Gwen wave as he rode into the entrance of the castle with the rest of the knights but did not acknowledge her. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. He saw Gwen go to Arthur as he dismounted but he also seemed to ignore her and walked straight into the castle instead.

James was there as his arrived and Lancelot requested that all his armour and weapons be ready for battle as soon as possible. James looked surprised but asked no questions. Lancelot predicted this battle was not over yet. Lancelot walked up to his chambers. Gwen was already waiting for him when he arrived at his room.

"I waved to you earlier, did you not see me?" Gwen asked, the hurt in her voice obvious.

"I'm sorry, I assumed you were waving at Arthur," Lancelot replied coldly.

"Lancelot…", Gwen replied taken back.

"Forgive me my lady, it has been a long journey and a very unpleasant one at that."

"You are forgiven. My I ask what has upset you?" Gwen asked concerned.

"Arthur killed King Caerleon deliberately as a way to establish his kingship. I don't believe he was right but he refused to listen to my counsel. I am worried what the consequences of this action will be," Lancelot explained.

"But…Arthur would never do that. He wouldn't," Gwen said defensively.

"If you don't believe me, ask his highness yourself. Goodnight Gwen," and with that Lancelot walked into his chambers and slammed his door shut.

Lancelot leant against his door, cursing himself for being rude to Gwen. But she always came to him when Arthur didn't want her, and he was beginning to struggle with the jealousy and rejection. Why did he try to fight it? She knew just as much as he did that she could ask him anything and he would do it. He pushed himself off the door and walked over to his bed. He would find her and apologise tomorrow. With a heavy heart, Lancelot went to sleep.

The next day was busy. A messenger had arrived that morning with news that King Caerleon's wife, Queen Annis was marching an army to Camelot. Lancelot was with Arthur and Merlin at training when they heard the news. Lancelot and Merlin made eye contact, fully aware that this was the outcome they were both expecting. Lancelot spent the rest of the day ensuring the rest of the knights had heard the news and were prepared to leave at dawn. Elyan and Leon had anticipated Queen Annis's reaction and had already prepared themselves. Gwaine, on the other hand, was in the tavern and had to be woken from his drunken slumber to prepare himself.

Before the evening meal had begun, Lancelot went to visit Gwen. He knocked on her door.

"Hello Lancelot," said Gwen as she answered the door.

"I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. It was cruel of me. I know you are faithful and dedicated to Arthur and I should not assume your feelings towards me are anything more than friendship. I am truly sorry my lady," Lancelot knelt and bowed his head.

"Lancelot, you don't need to be so formal," Gwen smiled and took his bowed head in her hand. She brought his head up to look her in the eye. "It is also unfair on yourself to take so much of the blame."

Lancelot stood up straight and looked her in the eye. "Perhaps so my lady, but it is my feelings that are the problem, not yours."

"Do you really believe that is the truth Lancelot?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, I do."

"Then you are wrong. I told you many years ago that as long as I live my feelings for you will never fade. That is the truth." Gwen smiled at him. "But I love Arthur too and while we are together, nothing can separate us."

"I understand my lady, but thank you for telling me the truth. If I die tomorrow, I will die happy. Goodbye Gwen." Lancelot bowed and walked away.

As he walked back towards the castle, he heard her say, "Goodbye Lancelot."

He walked into the castle and saw Arthur leaving as he arrived. He was glad to see Arthur was taking his opportunity to see Gwen before going to battle. She deserved a good man like Arthur.

Lancelot was preparing himself for bed. He had dismissed James so the boy could get some rest before he had to awake at dawn to help him prepare for battle. He was sat on his bed in his nightclothes and was just about the blow out the remaining candles when there was a knock at the door. Before he could reply, the door opened and in rushed Gwen. She shut the door loudly behind her, ran across the room and into his arms.

She was sobbing in his arms and he held her tightly.

"Gwen, what is the matter? Are you hurt? Has something happened?", Lancelot asked.

All he got in reply was sobs. So he just held her and told her everything was going to be okay. She cried and cried in his arms until it seemed like an eternity had passed when she finally stopped.

"I'm sorry Lancelot. I shouldn't have come," she attempted to get up, but Lancelot just held her in place.

"What happened Gwen? Please tell me," Lancelot begged.

"Arthur has decided I am not appropriate anymore," Gwen quietly replied.

"What?" Lancelot had to physically control himself in order to avoid waking the whole castle.

"Yes, he told me this evening. I thought he was coming to say goodbye. Apparently his goodbye was more permanent than I imagined," Gwen explained.

"I'm so sorry. I truly am," Lancelot comforted her.

"I know you are, and that is why I came here," and with that she kissed him.

Lancelot did not hesitate and kissed her back. He knew he should resist but he couldn't. He had dreamt of this moment for years.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading :)<strong>


	7. His Father's Son Part 2

**Merry Christmas! I am back. A thousand times sorry for the delay. Life just got in the way. But I am back and I hopefully have written a chapter that you will enjoy. Have a wonderful holiday season. **

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><p>She stayed with him all night. Nothing further happened between them but he hugged her and soothed her till she fell asleep. He thought he would never sleep, scared that he would wake up and she would not be there in the morning. But he did fall asleep eventually, listening to her quiet breathing.<p>

He awoke to sunlight streaming in through his window. He could feel her presence as he woke up and relief filled his heart that she had not disappeared during the night. He looked over at her, her face so peaceful and beautiful. She looked so much younger when she was asleep.

His door started to creak open. Panicked Lancelot threw the blanket over Gwen.

"Sire? Are you awake?", a voice called from outside the door.

"Yes, I am. I'll be ready in five minutes James," Lancelot answered hurriedly.

Gently Lancelot nudged Gwen awake, "Gwen, Gwen," he whispered.

"Mhmm…", she started to stir.

"Gwen, I'm sorry my love but I need you to wake up."

"Lancelot?," Gwen asked confused.

"Good morning my darling," Lancelot smiled at her. "If you want to avoid scandal I suggest you hide under my bed."

And with that comment, Gwen sat up right, her hair sticking up at the back.

"Quickly now, James will not wait forever."

Gwen scrambled out of the bed, taking most of the blanket with her and landed on the floor with a thump.

"Are you alright sire?" James asked, slowly edging the door open.

"Perfectly fine," Lancelot ducked his head under the bed. Gwen was completely covered by his blankets. "Come in James."

With a look of suspicion, James cautiously entered the room. "I swear I heard you talking to someone sire?"

"No, nope. Just talking to myself," Lancelot lied, badly.

James raised an eyebrow at him but he let the subject drop out of respect for his master.

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><p>Lancelot got ready for battle in silence and James left as soon as possible as the tension in the room became unbearable for the poor boy.<p>

Lancelot threw the blankets back on to the bed. "He's gone Gwen, you can come out now."

Gwen peeked out from under the bed, and Lancelot's heart melted at the sight of how cute she looked. He gave her his hand and helped her up.

"I am so sorry for that my darling."

"Shh my love," Gwen put her finger to his lips. "It's alright, I understand." She stroked his face. "You look so handsome in your armour." Her lip started to quiver. "Please keep safe."

Lancelot's heart raced. How he longed to hear her utter those words. He took her into his arms and kissed her passionately. "I vow to you that I will never leave you again. I will always return for you."

She smiled, breathless from the force of the kiss. "I believe you."

And with those final words, Lancelot left his chambers and went to battle.

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><p>Arthur was uneasy. It was obvious to anyone. Even Gwaine asked if he was okay. He didn't come and join them in their usual routine of sitting round the fire exchanging war stories and battle scars. Gwaine always had a new story to tell which never failed to make everyone crack up laughing. Arthur disappeared into his tent.<p>

Merlin answered Gwaine's question, "He's our king. If anything were to happen to any of us, he'll hold himself personally responsible." Lancelot wondered just how much of that statement was the real reason for Arthur's behaviour. Arthur had not mentioned Gwen at all that day and seemed completely focused upon the battle, but still Lancelot suspect Arthur may already be regretting his decision.

Still, Merlin's response sobered them all up and they decided to go and talk to Arthur. They were the knights of Camelot after all. Elyan, the most sensitive of them all, spoke on their behalf.

"Elyan?", Arthur asked surprised as they all walked into his tent. The knights were silent.

"Well?" Arthur prompted.

"We just want you to know there isn't a man among us who would not die for you. We've made our pledge and we wear the Pendragon crest with pride. Tomorrow we fight in your name, sire, for freedom and justice in this land," Elyan replied.

_The boy should have been a poet_, Lancelot thought to himself. He whole heartedly agreed, and wished he could voice his feelings so articulately.

It was clear that Arthur was deeply touched by Elyan's words. "Thank you, Elyan. Thank you all." Lancelot nodded at Arthur in response. He patted Merlin on the shoulder on his way out of the tent.

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><p>The next morning, all hell broke loose. Arthur declared that he had approached Queen Annis during the night and she had agreed to a trial by combat. The knights were furious that Arthur had gone behind their backs and agreed to such an idea.<p>

"But, sire, we can win this battle. I know we can," Lean retorted.

"I don't doubt it. But at what cost? How many men will be slaughtered?" Arthur replied.

"And what if we were to lose this trial? We can't give up our land," Elyan argued.

"That's the deal I've struck. I believe it to be fair and I'll stand by it."

Lancelot remained silent. He knew there would be no talking Arthur out of this. He had never met a more stubborn man. But he was proud of his king, admittedly annoyed that Arthur had not felt the need to confer with his knights before he made this deal, but he was glad Arthur had seen how wrong he was to kill King Caerleon.

"Well, all that remains, my lord, is for you to choose your champion," Lord Agravaine's voice interrupting Lancelot's internal dialogue.

"I would be honoured to fight for Camelot," Lancelot was the first to volunteer. He knew he was the best knight at combat. His defeat of Arthur in his initiation fight was legendary.

Percival immediately followed suit, "It would be a privilege, sire."

"Sire," Elyan put himself forward.

Arthur interrupted them, "There can only be one choice. One choice which is just and honourable. This fight's mine."

"Sire, you cannot do this. Think of your people, your kingdom. Think of the people who love you and need you," Lancelot knew that Arthur could not fight this battle alone.

"Enough Lancelot. I have made my decision." And with that comment, Lancelot and the rest of the knights were silenced.

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><p>That evening Lancelot was called into Arthur's tent.<p>

"Lancelot, I have a favour to ask of you."

"Anything, sire," Lancelot bowed his head.

Arthur was hesitant.

"If this day should prove to be my last…give this Guinevere," Arthur put his rings into Lancelot's hand.

"Tell her I'm sorry. And protect her. I know you still love her. If I don't make it back…," Arthur put his hand on Lancelot's shoulder, "I want to know that she will be looked after."

Lancelot was taken back, "Of course sire. But you will make it back to tell her yourself," Lancelot gave Arthur a small smile.

"Thank you, old friend. But I suspect that she might not want to hear it," Arthur sighed.

"Only time will tell," Lancelot replied. They shook hands. "Good luck sire."

Agravaine entered the tent, "It is time, my lord."

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><p><strong>I want this story to treat all the characters fairly. I wanted it to be a real love triangle, where both men are great and it is a genuinely difficult decision for Gwen to make while still following the story as told through the series. I hope you feel that I am writing both men as they deserve to be written. I still miss Lancelot. Please review, it makes my day. <strong>


	8. An Affair

**Hello, sorry its been ages. My other fanfic _The First Female Knight_ (not for Lancelot and Gwen fans, very Arwen) took over. But here is a new chapter, admittedly quite short so apologies for that too. I hope you enjoy :) x**

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><p>Lancelot stood powerless from the top of the mountain, alongside his fellow knights, watching and waiting for the battle to commence. To his left stood Merlin who had clearly concocted a plan but he had yet to divulge it to Lancelot.<p>

Lancelot was impatient; this was not what he had signed up when becoming a knight. The others felt similar and there was a lot of anxious pacing upon that cliff side. He held Arthur's ring in his hand, feeling the weight of another man's promises to the woman he loved.

The challenger walking towards Arthur was a giant. He was strong but with strength and size came sluggishness. Arthur was far too quick for his opponent and it looked like a straightforward fight for the King.

Until, Arthur's hand dropped, his sword pointing uselessly into the ground. A quick left hook from the King, stunned the giant momentarily. Lancelot's attention turned to Merlin and relief filled his heart as he saw the familiar and comforting sight of Merlin's eyes flash yellow. Lancelot breathed easily, confident that Arthur would be the victor. And, as if by magic, minutes later the battle was over. Arthur reigned victorious.

The ride home was happy and everyone was in good spirits. Everyone who set out from Camelot would be returning to their families. No one would be mourning tonight. Another ball to look forward to I'm sure, thought Lancelot sarcastically. His mind went back to his earlier conversation with Arthur.

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><p>Lancelot entered Arthur's tent.<p>

"Congratulations sire," Lancelot bowed.

"Thank you Lancelot," Arthur replied.

"I have come to return this," Lancelot held out his hand with Arthur's ring in it.

"Thank you," he took his ring and slid it back on to his finger.

They were silent.

"I'm not going to give her up, you realise that don't you?" Arthur looked directly at Lancelot.

"Yes sire," Lancelot replied quietly.

Arthur turned away from Lancelot.

"Sire, I hope you realise that I won't let her go that easily."

Arthur glared at Lancelot and opened his mouth to rant. Lancelot spoke first.

"Arthur, I gave you your chance, many years ago, a chance you threw away. I left. Because of your obvious feelings towards her, because I believed that you would love her forever, because I thought you were the better man. But you proved me wrong. You hurt her, dismissed her as nothing more than a servant."

"I thought you left because you had business elsewhere." Arthur crossed his arms and glowered at Lancelot.

Lancelot laughed, "is that what Merlin told you?"

Arthur ignored him, "I didn't mean to hurt her. I thought I was making the right choice for Camelot."

"If you love her, then you know that leaving her is the stupidest decision you will ever make, even if you thought you were doing it for the right reasons."

"She will come back to me," Arthur declared angrily.

"Perhaps," Lancelot admitted, "but now she will know there is another option, if she wishes a different path to the one she was on."

"You will do nothing! I will have your head for it!" Arthur went to draw his sword.

Lancelot raised his hands. "Sire, if she chooses you once more, I won't get in the way. But surely you rather have her love you because of who you are, and not because you killed the competition."

"GET OUT LANCELOT!" Arthur yelled.

Lancelot walked out the tent.

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><p>They arrived into Camelot to the usual cheers and celebrations. Lancelot looked around for any sign of Gwen. He saw her, standing at the top of the castle steps. She was looking directly at him, her face beaming with happiness. Lancelot picked up the pace and guided his horse through the crowd towards Gwen. He dismounted and walked towards her. She gave him a huge smile and threw her arms around him.<p>

"I'm so glad you're home", she whispered in his ear.

"I promised I would return," Lancelot kissed the top of her head.

As they pulled away, they heard an exclamation and turned towards the source of the noise.

Arthur had arrived mere minutes after Lancelot and had witnessed Gwen's delighted reaction to his safe return.

"Sire," Gwen curtsied and Lancelot bowed.

Arthur ignored them and rode off towards the stables.

"What's Arthur's problem?" Gwen wondered out loud.

"Us," Lancelot explained.

"Why? He chose to end our relationship."

"Take it from someone with experience in this area, he has realised what a stupid decision he has made and wondering if there is any possible way you will take him back."

Gwen looked lost in thought.

"Gwen," Lancelot gently nudged her, "there isn't any way he can get you back right?"

"No, of course not," Gwen reassured him with a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes.

She took his hand in his.

"Let's go and find you something to eat," she smiled. Lancelot allowed himself to be lost in her smile and dragged towards the kitchen.

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><p>He spent the rest of the day catching up with his fellow knights; putting plans in place should Queen Annis change her mind and general knight duties such as writing up rotas for patrols. It was a busy but productive day. He returned to his chambers, looking forward to decent night's sleep. He saw Gwen waiting at his door when he returned. He heart started to beat quicker at the sight at her but on closer inspection of her face, he knew that this more than a social visit.<p>

"Gwen," he kissed her cheek, "I'm sorry, have you been waiting long?"

She shook her head, "Lancelot, I've got to talk to you about something."

Lancelot sighed and held the door open for her, "Come in Gwen."

He gestured towards a chair, "Please, sit down." Lancelot closed the door gently behind him.

She sat down in the chair furthest from the door. Lancelot took the chair opposite hers.

"Lancelot…Arthur apologised for his behaviour and wanted us to be together again."

Lancelot was silent.

"I told him that we had something and that I couldn't just be with him again. He got very upset and angry, and started shouting about how he would banish you from Camelot or worse," Gwen began crying, "I told him I would be with him, and he calmed down. He started asking me if I was only saying yes because I didn't want to lose you but I said no."

Lancelot remained quiet while Gwen regained her composure.

"Gwen," Lancelot said gently, "you know as well as I do, what Arthur says in anger cannot be taken as truth. He would not have executed me or banished me because you chose me over him when you were no longer together. You know that don't you Gwen?"

Gwen nodded.

"In which case, perhaps you said yes because part of you wanted to say yes? Do you think that might be true?" Lancelot asked, his heart breaking into a million tiny pieces.

Gwen nodded slowly and started to tear up.

"If that's true, I don't know where that leaves us," Lancelot rose out of his chair and knelt before Gwen.

"I love you Gwen, with all my heart, but if you tell me Arthur is the man for you, I will leave you both in peace," Lancelot declared, his heart beating hard and his eyes blinking back tears.

Gwen kissed him.

"I love you Lancelot, but I love Arthur too. I don't know what to do." She began to sob.

Lancelot hugged her, "Ssshh, that's enough for me. It's okay Gwen."

"Can we just keep us a secret for now, until I work out who I want?" Gwen looked up at him hopefully, her eyes red and cheeks puffy.

"Why do I have to be the secret one?" Lancelot asked angrily, already knowing her answer.

"Because Arthur has the power to destroy you, to destroy us," Gwen replied calmly.

"You realise that if Arthur ever finds us out about us, he will have me executed. This is a lot more serious if you are now together again. You would be having an affair Gwen. Do you think you could live with that?" Lancelot asked.

Gwen was silent. "If the alternative is not being with you, I will gladly have an affair," she whispered.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Please review as this fanfic is written for quite a limited audience :) x<strong>


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